kurt Cobain的遗书中已经说得很明白了。。
(第一译本)
To Boddah: 致巴达
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced **ton who
这是一个饱经沧桑的傻子发出的声音,
obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complaind.
他其实更愿做个柔弱而孩子气的诉苦人
This note should be pretty easy to understand.
这张条子应该很容易理解。
All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years,
所有的警告都来自于这些年来的‘朋克摇滚101’, it's my first introduction to the,
自从我第一次介入
shall we say ethics involved with independence
那包含着独立性应当称为道德原则的东西之后
and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true.
你们团结一致的拥戴已证明是非常真实的。
I haven't felt the excitement of listening to,
我已经好多年都不能从听音乐,
as well as creating music,
创作音乐
along with really writing something for too many years now.
以及读和写东西中感到激奋了
I feel guilty beyond words about these things,
对于这些事我感到了一种难以形诸文字的负罪感
for example when we're backstage
比如说,但我们来到后台,
and the lights go out
灯火熄灭
and the manic roar of the crowd begins.
人们狂躁的咆哮响起,
It doesn't affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury,
这一切对我的影响就远不如对Freddy Mercury (“QUEEN”乐队主唱,1991年因艾滋病辞世。)影响那么大
who seemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd,
他似乎喜欢而且把玩那些从人群中而来的爱与赞美 which is something I totally admire and envy.
——那正是我赞赏与嫉妒的一切。
The fact is,I can't fool you,
事实上我无法欺骗你们,
any of you.
无法欺骗你们中的任何一人。
It simply isn't fair to you,or to me.
那对你对我都不公平。
The worst crime can think of would be to pull people off by faking it,
我能想起的最大罪恶便是欺骗人们
pretending as if I'm having one 100% fun.
装模作样,做出一副我100%地快乐的样子
Sometimes I feeln as though
有时候我似乎
I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage.
应当在出场之前有台打卡机。
I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it,
我尽了我全部的力量去喜欢这一切,
and I do,God believe me, I do, but it's not enough.
我的确也喜欢。但这还不够。
I appreciate the fact that
我喜欢这一事实,
I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people.
即我和我们乐队感染和款待了不少人。
I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they're alone. I'm too sensitive,
我太敏感了。
I need to be slightly numb
我必须清度麻醉
in order to regain the enthusiasm.But, what's sad is our child.
才能重获我在孩提时代曾有过的热情。
On our last three tours,
在我们最后的三次巡演中
I've had a much better appreciation of all the people
我对所结识的所有的人
I've known personally, and as fans of our music. 和我们音乐的歌迷都有了更多的欣赏,
But I still can't get out the frustration, the guilt, and the sympathy I have for everybody.
但我还是无法克服我对每个人都抱有挫折感、负罪感和同情。
There is good in all of us,
在我们所有人中都有善意,
and I simply love people too much.
我就是太爱人们了!
So much that it makes me feel too **ing sad.
爱的太多以至于让我感到真的太他妈忧郁,
The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man!
一个略为忧郁的、敏感的、不领情的、双鱼座的耶稣式的人物!
why don't you just enjoy it? I dont know!
I have a of a wide who sweats ambition and empadny,
我有一个女神般的妻子,她为理想和打动人而拼命努力
and a daughter
我还有个女儿
who reminds me to much of what I use to be
她让我回忆起我的很多过去
full of love and joy,
的爱与欢笑
every person she meets because everyone is good 她对那些她遇到的人致以全部的爱和快乐的吻,因为每个人都那么好,
and will do her no harm. 而且不会对她有任何伤害。 And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function.
这也让我惊恐万分,以至于我只会瞠目结舌。
I cant stand the thought of
我没法容忍那种想法,
Frances becoming the miserable self destructive, 就是弗兰西丝将变成象我这样自我毁灭、
deathrocker she become. 走向绝路的摇滚歌手。 I have it good, very good,and I'm grateful,
我快乐的拥有一切,非常快乐。我充满感激。
but since the age of seven,
可自打我7岁以来
I've become hateful towards all humans in general.
我总的来说就对人类充满了仇视
Only because it seems so easy for people to get along
仅仅因为人们似乎太过容易地友好相处,
and have empathy.
而且还会同情,
Empathy only because I love and feel for people too much I guess.
同情!仅仅因为我觉得自己对人们有太多的爱与同情。 Thank you from the pit of my burning nauseas stomach for
从我那燃烧而令人欲呕的胃之深处感激你们所有的人, your letters and concern during the last years. 感激你们在过去岁月里所有的来信和关心
I'm too much of a neurotic moody person
我是个太过反常和抑郁的小子!
and I don't have the passion anymore,
我已经没有任何**了,
so remember,
所以要记住
it's better to burn out, than fade away.
“与其苟延残喘,不如从容燃烧!”
Peace, love, empathy,
和平,爱,同情。
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney,
Frances 和 Courtney,
I'll be at your altar.
我会伴你们到老
Please keep going Courtney Courtney
请继续前行,
for Frances for her life
为了 Frances 为了她的生活
which will be so much happier without me.
没有我她的生活会快乐许多。
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!
我爱你们!爱你们!! |